look at this fucking black devil

Photograph courtesy Edith Widder, ORCA
A female angler fish known as the Humpback Black Devil sports a glowing lure. See more bioluminescence in the abyssal Caribbean.

look at this fucking demon

Photograph courtesy NIWA
Female black dragonfish—such as this newfound specimen of the Idiacanthus genus—are "fierce predators" of small fish. But "interestingly, male dragonfish lack teeth and a functional gut, and are thought to live only long enough to breed," biologist Malcolm Clark said.

look at this fucking goblin shark

look at this fucking biblical shark birth

Photograph by Rodger Klein, Getty Images
A captive female zebra shark has displayed asexual reproduction for the fourth year running.
Read National Geographic's article about this astoundingly common process.

look at this fucking mimicry arms race

An octopus mimicking a fish becomes the background to another fish's mimicry. My head hurts.

look at this fucking winged fisherman

look at this fucking no-mess meal

This catfish has an armored shell, which allows indigenous Peruvians
to barbecue the fish whole then eat the meat directly out of the
built-in bowl. Delicious.
Photograph courtesy Paulo Petry

look at this fucking giant goldfish

Angler Raphael Biagini reeled in this 14kg koi in Southern France.
Stick that in your koi pond. Too late, he released it. Good luck catching that monster yourself.

look at this fucking nut cracker

The Pacu fish - related to Piranhas - sports creepy human-like teeth
that it uses to crack open fruits and nuts.
When swimming in Brasil, make sure you protect your delicate nuts and fruits.

Photo © Julia Dorn/courtesy National Geographic Channel

look at this fucking loving catfish

look at this fucking stubborn swordfish

skip ahead to 2:00 if you are fucking impatient.

look at this fucking awful set of chompers

Adam stares at the photo with a tingle in the back of his neck and a growing dryness in his throat. He reaches shakily for his pen and crosses Congo off his list of rivers to visit.
Photograph courtesy Todd Wendel/National Geographic Television

look at this fucking landscaping grouper

pay attention Mr Fish, you're giving all these bums places to live in your neighborhood.
i especially dislike the shifty eyes of that wrasse.

look at this fucking poorly designed fish

No, it does not have two brains.
Those iridescent orbs are its upward facing eyeballs.
Perfect for snooping on food and foe above. Also, an indicator that these fish are frequently attacked from below by predators they never see. Evolution isn't always perfect. That's why it's called Evolution.

-sent from Adam's friendly robot phone

look at this fucking desperate shark

this great white is so hungry that it can't resist the pitiful morsel being offered by tricky scientists.
look at the snack-sized fish chunk, and look at the size this massive shark.
the shark is just testing it out.
look, it's eyes aren't rolled back, so it's not in full attack mode.
photo snap! oh, shark, you got so played.

look at this fucking happy fish

happy because it knows if you try to eat it, you will get a mouthful of puffer fish spikes.

look at this fucking unicorn shark

okay. im just kidding, its a goblin shark. but shit, it can officially stab me and eat me? im outta there.